Relationships…the relating factor

Make it your ambition to lead aquiet life, to mind your own business and to work with

your own hands, just as we have told you. So that your daily life may win respect of

outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.

And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own, and work with your own hands, as

we commanded you. That you may walk honestly toward them without, that you may

lack nothing. – Apostle Paul

I believe the above quotation is fundamental to the running of our day to day living. The

other version says make it an ambition; on the other hand, it is rendered as study. When I

look at this it explicitly shows of the need to exert an effort towards being a noble person.

Learn to mind your own business and not to poke your nose where it’s not invited. One

day some disgusted fellow will pull it off. Learn to work for your sustenance. Your life is

your responsibility, work for it! Study to be quiet and to mind your own business. To

work with your own hands such that you will be self sufficient, not needing anything

from anyone.

It is understandable and even an excusable fallacy that it is difficult for men to co-exist in

peace.

Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles

and misguided men- Martin Luther.

How best do we measure maturity? Can we apply a

litmus test so as to get the result of it? Maturity in one is seen by their ability to handle

life situations. It can be measured based on how they react in the midst of the storm. How

best do you handle altercations?

Some people are so full of themselves, they just can’t accommodate others! Some people

are always charged up, ready to let it out on you even for no apparent reason! If someone

lashes out on you, give them a smile and hold your peace. Your silence speaks volumes.

It will melt their heart. How best do you show a fool that indeed they are a fool? Let them

spit out all the sonorous and unprintable stuff. After they are done with their verbal

diarrhea, look at them, say, “thank you,” with a smile and walk away. It will get back at

them at the spot where it really matters. It is a diplomatic way of telling one to go to hell

without uttering the word. This is a sign of maturity. You can’t be understood by

everyone. You are totally insane if you expect to be every person’s friend! Know those

who celebrate you and celebrate together with them. Don’t waste your time around those

who mean to pull you down. They kill the seed of goodness in you. Avoid such company.

It chokes you out. Go to a place where you are celebrated.

Care less about what people think of you because obviously you wouldn’t want for them

to discover what you think of them. Avoid being too self conscious rather concentrate on

being yourself. Learn to appreciate other people’s differences. You can’t go about cloning

yourself. Imagine how the world would be like if all people were like you! Boring, isn’t

it? Don’t expect the person next to you to walk, smile, and talk and behave as you. That’s

somewhat insane! You were born in a different environment, to different parents, exposed

to different challenges and obviously the programming of each is independent! Celebrate

each other. Take time to discover your mate’s weakness and strengths. Help to perfect the

strengths and avoid highlighting on their weakness. Don’t double click there;

confrontations are inevitable in such cases. Do everything in and out of love. It’s not

noble to be judgmental. Give people the benefit of doubt. Try by all means to protect

people in your heart. No matter how much people hurt you or step on your toes, do not

take offence.

You can’t play God, you aint got the power to define a man. Not every person looks at

life the way you do. What is food to me might be poison to you. Learn to respect people’s

views. Don’t force them to eat your food because it is poison to them. Appreciate

differences and celebrate each other in a healthy style. Take time to listen not to fight to

be heard, try by all means to understand. Waste no time trying to explain so as to be

understood, go out of your way, understand rather. Avoid being the first one to speak,

take your time to think. It doesn’t harm to say sorry even when you feel a drive to shout

out, “Are you mad.”

Grow relationship. Give your time, devotion and dedication to the development of a

relationship. Don’t be quick to take out of a relationship, invest in it. Know the right time

to stay and to bid your goodbyes. Whatever the case, learn to walk out with your dignity

intact. If there is a need to grow a relationship, take time to feed it. Give it your time and

attention. Whatever you need feed into will definitely grow. If there is need to break or

kill a relationship, starve it. Give it no time and attention. Whatever you starve will

definitely shrivel and die out.

Every person that you see around is jewel, they are outspokenly important! Avoid being

full of yourself, learn to give yourself away. That’s the only way we can touch and break

the heart of the next person such that they themselves become better entities tomorrow.

Treat the elderly like the elderly. Show them some respect regardless of their background

or status. Treat fellow men like brothers and fellow women like sisters. Treat everyone

with respect. To the young ones extend an arm of love, give them a helping hand. Do not

kill or frustrate the sweet spirit within them. In them lie great treasures of potential that

can be released once the conducive environment is created.

Every person was called with a unique assignment. Don’t arm twist others into fulfilling

your assignment. Be nice! Ensure that each and every one of us finds a place of destiny.

Help to identify and develop others peoples strengths. We can celebrate each others

differences. We were called unto peace. It is our responsibility to co-exist in peace. We

might all be looking different, black or white, but look how we are all the same! Focus

less on the difference and give credit to the similarities. After all is said and done, we are

all human beings. Human beings are relational beings. It doesn’t do any harm to pass a

smile, sit and talk to somehow. Never be too busy to meet a need. Encourage those who

are down trodden. That word of encouragement can be their defining moment; it will

change everything about them. In every person’s heart lies a deep desire to be loved. Love

someone today, tomorrow and forever. Give them your devotion. Love motivates people

to go for it in life. Be sincere; never say what you don’t mean. If you don’t have anything

to say, then you can as well keep your lips sealed. Let there be coherence in what you say

and do. Walk the talk.

We all have a point to prove, isn’t it? We are all equally wiser. Avoid confrontation,

rather exercise tolerance. You don’t have to be even by fighting your way out, let the truth

in every situation prevail. It is noble to hold your peace. Appear to be the fool, hold your

cool and earn respect. Respect is not achieved or earned through intimidation; it lies in

self denial and deep humility. We all have personal agendas to pursue, know when it is

important to pursue personal and cooperate agendas. Value yourself; you’re not a rag or a

door mate. You are a history maker. Never allow or give people the opportunity to run off

at you. Dress for success and do not wait to be dressed by success. Dress according to

where you are going. Learn to recognize talent; it is what you recognize that is attracted to

you. Nothing can by any means intimidate you. Be firm. Stand up to your beliefs. Don’t

be defined by other people’s opinions. You are special!

We were all created different. There are crazy characters, I can assure you that. Take your

time to learn characters, discover how to handle each complexity in an individual so as to

avoid squabbles or fall outs. You can bring the best out of every person when you take

your time to know them. Avoid dwelling on people’s weakness, you step on their toes and

venom will come out of their mouths. Learn to protect people in your heart. Why do you

have to pierce on the wounds, aim to bring healing to their sores. Even when a person

does the dumpiest on earth, encourage, never crush a spirit. Avoid talking down people.

Aspire to inspire before you expire- (author unknown).

Personal Convictions.

It is highly recommended for one to make decisions in life and to be decisive about it. The texture and style rendered in life at a certain point is all determined by the convictions that held us prior to that. I have often heard people who are afraid what tomorrow hold for them. The reason as to why people go to visit foretellers and moreover go to church is all because of insecurity. I am not saying going to church is not a good idea, it is mandatory and the noblest thing to do. I carried out my survey and also the fact that I exist itself is an ultimate reason as to why I diagnosed it that way. Have you ever heard of a statement, “the fear of the unknown?” Believe it or not, but this is universal and irrevocable, no one who has his senses altogether will ever refute this. The most powerful person is the one who has an understanding of what they are doing, one who is confident of where they are herding to. Now the dilemma is most of us folks do not have a clue whatsoever as far as what will become of us is concerned. All we can say when we get in a situation is, “life happened to me.” Most of us allow fate to decide what tomorrow will bring. I have often noticed that due to disappointments in life we are forced to conclude and make this our conviction, “I will just take each day as it comes.” All these statements I am writing I have confessed them at one point in time. Forasmuch as we may be disappointed in life we shouldn’t reach a point whereby we succumb to

pressure. We have to determine within our spirits to fight on no matter what life may throw before us. Sometimes circumstances in life impose this mentality upon us that we can’t do anything about life and we confess that let life happen any how and we will just take it the way it comes. It may seem to be noble but we are just being pathetic, look at it, we can’t afford to be naïve and myopic that way. In us is entrenched the reservoir of power that can stop that pandemic, “life happened to me” and “I will just take it each day as it comes” to a conviction “I will happen to life and I will have it the way I want, I am in control and yes I can make it anyway .”Now we have to come up with measures to rectify or alleviate all those calamities that are meant to jeopardize and traumatize our will to go on. I have already alluded to the fact of the fear of the unknown. People are smart and have got a way of getting to their mark, most folks especially those within the Pentecostal sectors will agree with me that they love a prophetic word. Many a times people will sneak out to visit the man of God such that he gets to prophesy over their lives. “Pastor what is the Lord saying to me this year?” this is how they go about it. Some are not ashamed to go out of their way to visit foretellers to be told what the future holds as a remedy for their fears. A word given pertaining to their future is solace to them. What drive people to inquire about what will become of them is fear of the future. Under normal circumstances what is unknown to you is a monster and therefore is bound to traumatize you. You need not to be under this umbrella. There is nothing wrong in receiving a prophetic word, the bible tells us, believe the prophets and you shall prosper and believe the Lord and you shall be established. But there are fundamentals which we seem to be overlooking here; the truth is you ought to be responsible of what will become of you. Man is a master of his own destiny. You do not need for someone to master your own future on your behalf.

Have you ever realized that all of us go through situations we can’t even comprehend where on earth they emerged from? All we just do is whine and whimper about these things. Yet there is everything that we can do to change our circumstances, this should be a panacea to the bug, “fear of the unknown”. Have you ever realized that people who make it in life be it born again or not are those who believe strongly in something. That strong belief is a conviction, persuasion, a personal stance. A conviction doesn’t just happen to man. It is catapulted deep from within them. It is a result of what is not seen. I can’t call that mere observation but it is birthed out of perception. The word perception has the following synonyms:- insight, awareness, acuity, discernment, observation, sensitivity, view and opinion. Out of those outlined, I love these: - insight, discernment and sensitivity. This to me clearly parades that there is a sea of possibilities but one has to sieve that which pertains to their call. You have to see beyond the natural eye, divide through what you have seen select what is yours using sensitivity as an instrument. This is what I call a deep prophetic insight based on your reason for being.

Those who walk tall in life are not those who are always going to the man of God to receive a prophetic word or a fortune teller, in fact I assure you, they will continue fearing the more and their visits will become more frequent, prolonged and spontaneous because the fears will go on. All those with the remedy to this are those who are aware of the reason as to why they are existing and what it takes to reach there. I will try by all means to be balanced, its not like you will wake up one day and the exact way you are supposed to take is clearly paraded before you. I believe life is a puzzle and would love to argue my way out. I beg to bank into someone else’s conviction because I think it does work. It worked for me, I know it may not work for some but to those of like mind I wouldn’t regret declaring, “You can try this way.” If you do not know what way to take just take any it will get you there. I know it is prone or more so subject to acute debate, I don’t refute that either. All I am trying to put across here is it’s not automatic that one day you will wake up a doctor. It takes them to be born, suck milk, crawl, walk, go to preschool, primary school and other higher levels. Sometimes it will take their results to realize that they are meant to be doctors. Again don’t be too speckital, I am not concluding that your career path is determined by your results. There is more to discovery of dreams than just a slip of results, we talk of passion, opportunities, motivation, the list is just but endless. What I am bringing home is there are certain phases that are necessary for us in order to come to a realization of who we are really in life. There are times in life when we do not know what way to take because you haven’t heard the instruction. That’s when I believe that when you just sit on your butt and decide not to do anything about your situation, no ground will be covered because nobody is going to do it for you. If you don’t know where First Street is just get in any way, read road signs or ask as you go and you will get there anyway. Sometimes in life as we are on the road to establish what we think we were assigned to do acute opposition is inevitable. Now the question is how to keep my cool in the midst of the storm. At the end of the day you don’t mean to jump ship but to stay put in order to attain self actualization because it’s what you intended in the first place. It is a conviction that counts in this place. If you are persuaded of what exactly supposed to do nothing can dissuade you from clinching the mark. It is that conviction that will establish you in times of perils! If you have a conviction it will act as a compass to chart your course even when certainty isn’t so obvious. As I conclude, I intend to make this clear to us; a successful life is the one that is instructed. Get instruction from the source of inspiration. The question that should birth a paradigm shift is, “do you have any personal conviction in life.” It is only that you are fully persuaded of that will cause a defeat of fear and do away with the pandemic of the fear of the unknown. When life happens as it were, you will be in a position to pick yourself up and move on because of the conviction that holds you of who you are. This is a profound blue print. Your proficiency in life is determined by the convictions holding you.

Dressing for success

Formulate and stamp indelibly on your mind a metal picture of yourself as succeeding. Hold that picture tenaciously. Never permit it to fade. Your mind will seek to develop the picture…Do not buildup obstacles in your imagination – Author Unknown

Success ultimately is a decision to take. Regardless of the situations surrounding, one can still make a decision to sail to the top. Many have the tendency to blame their surrounding, family, job and circumstances as the reason as to why they cannot envision ever getting to the top. I know of a person whom upon watching his beloved father pass on as a result of failure to raise funds for the hospital bills, determined in his heart that he will never be poor any other day. From mere evaluation of the case, one might have concluded that the pain of losing the loved one caused the “hallucination.” Why do I say so?

The guy wasn’t educated. He didn’t hold any certificate; even the grade seven results were pathetic.

This is a true life story. The determination in the heart triggered a desire for discovery of his passions.

He didn’t focus upon his weakness, (not educated) and he focused on the abilities, (I can drive). He started off driving small cars for his uncle, developed to trucks and now he is a haulage truck driver. He has a home and well furnished and not poor. Determination got him there. We have no excuse whatsoever as to why we can’t get to the top. What is success? Many of us may want to know. Success does not discriminate. Success is never measured upon how much you accumulated but rather on how much of you managed to bring out! Many people equate success to material possession, having a lot of money in their pockets. Shrewd and spooky acts can get money into my pocket, but can that be called success. Some people get what they want by hook and crook but should we call them successful. Unfortunately, there is another name for that, conman will do! Success is obeying who you are, simply sticking to the brand of your design. It doesn’t matter you drive one car and your neighbor has countless. As long as you are sticking to who you are, you are highly successful! The following are simple nuggets on success. I do not hold the franchise to hold the best nuggets but I believe they can work!

1. Get acquainted with self.

Success can only begin to flow once you come to terms with who you are. One who hasn’t come to terms with self is at odds with destiny. What we need as a prerequisite is conquering of self. Now you can never conquer what is unknown to you. Confrontation can only be done once you are aware of the things that you need to deal with. Do you know who you are? Have you ever taken time to know the material deposited in the inside of you by the Maker. You can’t spend the rest of your life juggling with life, moving from one bus to another back and forth without a destination to disembark at. Get in to a bus and be definite about your destination.

2. Accept criticism

Not every criticism is detrimental to your success. A person who loves you will raise an alarm when you do something wrong. If you are strapping a baby on your back and your dress gets caught up such that the other part of the body shows off, it will only take those who love you to warm you of the anomaly.

The rest will watch and laugh their lungs out. Sometimes you put on clothes that are ugly and someone will meet you and tell you how gorgeous you look and giggle the moment you walk off with a leap on your step thinking, “I have done it!” the moment you meet your true friend they won’t even smile at you but implore you to remove the clothes and put on something good. Be wise in life. Now every compliment is meant to do you good, it will get you in trouble. It’s like a setup for a setback. Don’t go about looking for praises because there are people who are willing to inflate your balloon until it bursts due to too much pressure. Remember you aren’t a balloon, no need to get inflated! The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism -- Author Unknown.

3. Be simple.

A lot of us would like to move mountains, but few of us are willing to practise on small hills –Author Unknown. It is the simple things that we do in life that matters. God didn’t get us running and going to the toilet by ourselves the moment we were born. We had to start off as useless objects. No wonder why a baby is referred to as “it.” It took growth from one stage to another to get you walking. Why do you think the same does not apply to matters in life? Love the simple and the difficult will take care of themselves. We struggle with the complexities and avoid the simplicity. The secret to mastery in everything is practicing the virtue of simplicity. You don’t have to be complicated to be powerful. It is the simple things that you pay attention to that will give the distinction in life. Be simple and smart! Don’t despise the day of humble beginnings. It is paving way for greater opportunities. The small things we do matters. If you become so perfect with the small things, suddenly the small become so phenomenal that what you ever envisioned.

4. Get on with it!

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking places. Yes, they say there isn’t any hurry especially in Africa. Wow, is that so? I believe we should never be under pressure and desperate, but it’s judicious to treat matters with the urgency they deserve. Time is perishable and unfortunately you can preserve it but putting it in the refrigerator and then using it when you deem it necessary. Time lost can never be recovered. This is the time you have and get on with what you are supposed to do. Never allow yourself to be idle day by day. You don’t need a job to keep you occupied. Use your gifting to generate income. There are detours along the way, but the following quote changed my perception. A truly contend person enjoys the scenery along the detour. Instead of complaining about what is happening to you, learn to see the good in every unfortunate circumstance that confronts you. There are better scenes that aren’t expected that can actually ignite an ounce of life into you. Maybe it’s meant to prepare you for things to come and remember preparation time is never wasted time!

5. Confront your fears

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in theface - Author Eleanor Roosevelt.

There are so many things that may scare us out of the gut. There is so much that we do not know. It is that single step that one takes that distinguishes a victor from a coward. Cowards are comfortable with the state of the norm and are never willing to take another step out of their zone. Now Roosevelt brings about what needs to be done. It’s not stupidity to be adventurous, nor is it an activity reserved only for the youthful. Go out there and discover new horizons, move further and the scope of your horizon will also move. Find yourselves taking with that person who normally gets you stammering and developing cold fists. Even when the goose bumps are showing, develop that tough skin to still face your fears. Let me tell you the truth, what you confront will give you a warm reception and before you know it the goose bumps will be long gone.

6. Live your present.

It’s a pity that most of us are living in the dream land. In dreams you see visions of what happened before, what never happened or what shall happen. Dreams are not a reality as it were. You have to awake out of that slumber and to something about it. You can’t change the past, and you can ruin a perfectly good present, by worrying about the future –Anonymous. Make the best out of what you have, for it is what you have in control. Concentrate your energies on making this day enjoyable because it is yours to manipulate. You are solely responsible for your present. Choose to be happy even when there isn’t any apparent reason to be so. There is a spark to be stimulated in every circumstance that can turn the tide. What you had or what happened in the past it’s gone, its all water under the bridge and there not worth much of your attention. Be consumed by what you have today such that you can’t afford to pay attention to other things. After all is said and done, you have the power to paint the life that you envision or to tarnish the image of who you are. It is the thoughts we entertaining that is painting an image that can blur or increase focal strength. Tell yourself on a daily basis that you are highly successful. And how did we say it goes! Simply stick to the basics, be true to who you are. You are a bunch of success h